T’s Top 5 Songs for Building Shit

We can’t afford to move, but, we can afford to move shit around.

Every January I get the homebody itch to change things, move furniture, and create new spaces. Unfortunately, I’m not that handy or motivated so a lot of my grand ideas go unfinished. I did manage to move around the furniture in our den and that created a need for some new end tables. As I spent hours assembling these press board beasts with a dozen different screws and finishing nails and drawer thingies, I decided I needed a playlist to help me through the process. So, here’s my top 5 songs for the hapless work of building your ready-to-assemble, flat-packed purchases. You’ll also notice a second theme that I discovered while writing this.

#5 U Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer

“Stop, hammer time!” Hopefully this tune drops while you’re banging in those pesky finishing nails. Remember when you feel like banging your head against the wall in frustration, remember, you’re 2 Legit 2 Quit.

Stop, bat flip time...famous MLB right-fielder Reggie Jackson gave MC Hammer his nickname. The young MC was a 13-year old batboy/helper for the Oakland As in the 1970s when Jackson said, “I nicknamed him “Hammer," because he looked like Hank Aaron [whose nickname was "The Hammer"].

#4 – Why don’t we get drunk – Jimmy Buffet

Asking for assembly help is easy, just say “Why don’t we get drunk and screw…..a bunch of press board together and make a new end table.”

If you need a break, this video is really entertaining – full of parrot heads, the camera man’s boob choices and a bizarre, trippy dream sequence at 1:45.

Stop, bat flip time …This video was recorded from a live show at Fenway Park home of the Red Sox so Jimmy throws in the seventh inning stretch crowd favourite Sweet Caroline.

#3 Help I’m Alive – Metric

Metric, fronted by ab/leg-tastic Emily Haines, has my vote for the coolest Canadian band. Let the banging bass line help you through your allen key adventures and take 30 seconds to bop along to the groovy pop change-ups. If you aren’t convinced that Haines is the cat’s ass in Canada rock, read about her relationship with the late, great Lou Reed.

Stop, bat flip time…The single Help I’m Alive was first single released on Metric’s fantasies album in 2009. Also on that album was Stadium Love which was named the official song of the Toronto Blue Jays for 2013.

#2 Closer – Nine Inch Nails

Coined by leading man Trent Reznor who said he chose it because it “abbreviates easily”, Nine Inch Nails is one of the coolest artist’s names ever. I’m hoping whatever your constructing doesn’t require nine-inch nails, but, does has the memorable design of the stylized NIN logo. Okay, I’ll admit, Closer is a writhing sex song that likely feels out of the place on this list, save for the band name, but, Motley Crue drummer, Tommy Lee, has remarked. ”You can fuck to it, you can dance to it and you can break shit to it.” So, I think you can also build crap to it.

NOTE: You'll have to sign into YouTube to play this one due to it's content.

#1 Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations

A fun sing-along released by The Foundations in 1968 is my “whistle while your work” top pick.

Stop, bat flip time….last one…Build Me Up Buttercup is the seventh inning stretch song for MLB’s LA Angels. It is also sung by the students at Wisconsin Badgers football games and I found an amazing student body video that will make you smile. Now I want to write about the Top 5 student stadium songs!

So, the tunes are done but if you’re still cursing your way through a DIY furniture fiasco, have a break and scroll through funny Ikea Memes, including my all-time favorite, Darwin, the Ikea Monkey.

Honourable mentions:

Painted Black – Rolling Stones

Another Brick in the Wall – Pink Floyd

John Prine : Grandpa Was A Carpenter

#RockandRoll